No. I'm a missionary. I'm supposed to be strong.
No, you don't understand. I can't do that.
That's not what people want to hear. I'm supposed to be telling wonderful stories about the wonderful things going on over here, not crying out for the reassurance that prayers and love still back me; not asking for encouragement. That's not what I created this blog for.
You still don't get it. I've never just asked for anything like that. I can't. And furthermore, I won't.
No.
NO.
Will you stop? I'm a missionary, remember?
Yeah, what's that got to do with anything?
So?
I know I need it, but...
I know, but...
...but...
I can't.
It'll get misunderstood.
No one will care.
I've never been that honest before. It's too hard.
...isn't it too much to ask?
Are you sure?
No...NO. I can't. I just can't. I'm not.....
*sigh* No, I know... I'm just scared.
Just call out? Just ask? But what if something bad happens? Or worse... what if nothing happens?
Trust? ...alright. I'll try.
Yes, I'm ready.
*deep breath*
Is anyone there?
Absolutely, here with you all the way, from the moment you were born...... Love you, Heidi!
ReplyDeleteLove you too, Daddy! <3
DeleteHello Heidi, it's Sunday here and probably Monday where you are. Every Sabbath, I see your name under our Garden of Prayer in the bulletin. But our prayers for you are not only on Sabbath. We see you as a daughter, a granddaughter, a sister, a friend. We love you and see you as a brave young woman going to a land that is in need of Jesus. You are ministering to little children on a daily basis and your words open this world to us, so far away here in the United States. We could not live as you are living, we could not endure as you are enduring, but God in His infinite wisdom has seen fit to place you in your little Village. Your loneliness for the familiar and for your family and friends will not disappear and neither will the Hand of God leave you. You are glorifying the Lord by your service, by your life. We hug you from afar and pray for you always. I can't imagine the emotions of your Mom and Dad and Grandparents, you must be in their hearts entirely. Forgive us for being silent, going about our prescribed tasks, we will do better. God bless you, God keep you, God surround you with His grace. Love and prayers, Wanda and David.
ReplyDeleteThank you both. :) Really, I don't fault anyone for silence...my call was just a call for a little encouragement, a little boost. No apology needed. You have been such a support for me, and I appreciate you so much. Love and hugs to you both!
DeleteCalling out and asking for help are so very hard. But you have done it and we are all praying for you. You have already survived an attack by the enemy and came out shining. You are an amazing girl and a wonderful child of God. You have so many people who think of you daily and pray that you can spread His word to those thirsting for it. Be strong and know He is with you, as are we, in spirit. XOXO
ReplyDeleteThank you Sandi... :) Learning as we go, huh? God is good.
DeleteLove you, Heidi! I'm praying for you extra hard today! <3
ReplyDeleteThank you Rachel. Love you too! <3
DeleteI know what it's like, my friend. Know that whether you feel them or not, more prayers than you realize are being offered on your behalf. When you feel the loneliest, God is closest. Hugs to you!
ReplyDelete"I will never leave you nor forsake you" cling to that when the world falls silent around you sweetie! Im sorry for allowing the busyness to isolate, please forgive...sometimes its so very hard to know what people really need, especially when theyre not prone to asking. You are always here, with me, in my heart my precious, my prayers for you unending. You were my first special blessing from God & you are His child foremost. How truly blessed I am to have you in my life! I love you heidi, bunches & bunches! mommy
ReplyDelete