Reality still won't sink in.
Yet, I have two packed bags, ready to be checked in in Seattle. A backpack, and a small carry-on await my attention. I only have two nights left in everything familiar--in America itself.
I stare at the computer screen. What am I doing?
I know I've been called. The Lord has opened the door to Thailand in such a way that I cannot but respond to the call. He's opened so many doors and bade me walk through lately, I almost am not sure what part of life's house I stand in. One thing I know: one more door is wide open, and within three days, I will have walked through it. That's exciting!
Yet, it's scary. Because I know that when I come back, I will be different. I will never be the same from this trip; I can feel it. And change can be a scary thing.
All the same, I've learned that change is not all bad. In fact, change is often our best friend, if the change is ordered of the Lord and we are willing to walk within His will. Change can be a wonderful thing... It can be the most thrilling, glorious, and exhillarating experience that can ever befall us. But people don't often see it as thus.
So, only two more nights. Three more days. 58 hours. And then... change.
On the brink of another change in my life I stand, hand clasped tightly in my Father's. I look up at Him, and then across the wide expanse of land before me. Change. A thrill of fear and excitement pass like a tremor through me. My Father squeezes my hand. "Trust Me, child. I know where I am leading you."
"This I know, Father, but it's new. It's strange. It's scary." I draw back a little.
My Father places His arm around me. "Embrace this change, daughter. I have been working out your life story, and this change is necessary to the next chapter."
"But I am afraid of failing."
"You need not fear of failing; for with My power beside you and in you and working through you, you cannot fail, though all of hell itself were detailed against you."
I nod and stand up straighter. "What do I next, Father?"
"Eyes to the East, My child. Eyes to the East."
So I stand, with eyes to the East, thinking of a land full of strangers towards which my face is turned...and the land full of loved ones I am about to leave behind.
To those to which I come, I would say this: May God do through me for you all that He intends to.
To those I leave behind: Courage. Faith. Prayer. We shall meet again soon, by God's grace. And know that all the while I'm gone, my heart will be thinking of you as well.
Eyes to the East. Thoughts to the West. And heart held toward Heaven.
All I am, Lord. Work mightily through me.
The journey has almost begun.