Over My Shoulder

This moment. Right here, right now.

I'm facing the music, facing the future, what's coming.

Honestly, it's exciting. Really. God has big things in store for me... and He's promised that His timing will be perfect.

But like the age old trick of sneaking a glance at someone who's already walked past you, I look over my shoulder.

Why?

No reason, I guess.

Only to see where I've come from.

I see a long, hard, dusty, often lonely trail.
I see obstacles.
I see the remains of battles won...and some lost.
I see...

Yes, that's what really matters.

I see.

Because if I'm seeing, it means I'm likely still standing.

And no thanks to myself, either.

As my eyes trace the lines I walked in the past, I feel a smile warming my cheeks.

God knew.

Even though I've been through the valley of the shadow of death.

But then, there's the key.

It is, after all, the valley of the shadow of death.

Not the valley of death itself.

To put it as David Asscherick has, His was the substance that mine might be but a shadow.

And all of the shades and shadows I've been through in the last 6 months...the last year...the last 2 years... have done me good, ultimately.

I wouldn't change any of it.

And I mean that.

No, I can't say that I'd want to walk through it ALL again. But I know where I've walked. And I know it's changed and blessed and grown me.

And I'm happy. Content.

Head still turned, my eyes steal forward once again. There's a bend in the road: I'm not sure what lies beyond.

But I'm waiting...excited...to find out.

So, I step forward. Three more days and I head home.

And I glance backward with a shake of the head.

Thailand, you have nearly been the death of me.

But you've made me.

God be praised.

He always knows best.

And I have only to look over my shoulder to be reminded.