Saturday, November 3, 2012

Trembling Prison




It's Sunday morning.

For almost the first time, possibly even the first time since being here, I taught a full week of school. 5 whole days in the classroom, with the kids, 2 hours.

I reflect on that week and to be quite honest, there's a smile spreading across my face. Why? I'll tell you why...

...because after a whole week of teaching, those kids are becoming mine.

Monday came. Monday went. As I walked home, I shook my head. It went alright, I guess, but not good enough. I feel like I failed.

Keep going, child. A still small voice whispered above the treetops. The week isn't over yet.
           
On Tuesday I believe I first prayed the prayer. At the beginning of each class, the students all stand and I have a prayer. It varied from day to day, but today I specifically asked for God's spirit to be in the room while we had class, and for everything to go according to His will. I didn't think much of it...but when I left the classrooms a couple hours later, having prayed that prayer in all three grades, I realized that things had gone quite well--in fact, did I dare hope that they had gone really well? They had.... Lord, I think I need to keep praying that prayer.

I prayed that prayer all week. And everything went so wonderfully. I think I’ve found the secret: not that class will be flawless now. But if God’s spirit is in the room, and if His will is being done, then I can’t complain.

Then on Wednesday things began to get interesting. Since praying that prayer, my 5th graders were really getting in to what I was teaching--they all seemed to be understanding, and enjoying, class. 6th grade still was a challenge, as they're quieter and fewer in number. And 7th grade? Oh, let me tell you about 7th grade. 

While my 5th graders are enthusiastic, and my 6th graders quiet but diligent, it is 7th grade that takes the cake for being the most amusing.

(On Tuesday, one of the boys in 7th grade looked miserable. I’d wondered for awhile who he was (I’m still learning names) and he was always so quiet, but today he was really quiet. Not only that, but he looked in pain. I mentioned it to Hannah and Sharon later, and found out his name was Shaw Nay Moo. He’d had a bad headache or something that day in class. Somehow, that headache has cured him of silence. Since then, he’s moved from the middle of the room to the front row, and become one of my principal antagonists. He sits right next to the other principal antagonist, Tee Nee Too. Those two, combined with Maw Soe Thay, and all the other boys, have made my week absolutely hilarious.)

Reviewing vocabulary words on Monday, I asked the 7th graders to make sentences with a few of our old vocab words. I had several up there, and “club” was the first one: like, a club that you can be apart of and join and that sort of thing. Almost immediately as soon as I had said the word, Tee Nee Too piped up with, “Do you have the club?” Mental images of Tee Nee Too with a club flashed through my mind as I laughed and shook my head.

Next it was “pretty;” as in, pretty good. Maw Soe Thay, in the back of the room, called it out this time. “You look very pretty.” Needless to say, the sentence got modified just a little.

Then, “exciting.” Perhaps you remember the last time I tried to get them to make a sentence out of this word, and Maw Soe Thay said, “I see a monster.” He fixed it: this time it was, “Seeing monster very exciting.” I had to give that to him—he was right, after all! I wrote it on the board and oh, how that boy grinned at me!

But that was Monday, the day that things didn’t go so well. Tuesday was another story.

Tuesday morning, I teetered on the brink of utter sadness again. Not because I was homesick; not because I couldn’t stand things here; but more because of God’s request for me to “wait.” I didn’t want to go to class at all—but I went, feeling inadequate and anticipating a terrible day.

Tuesday was probably the best day of teaching I’d had in ages. I taught the kids all the different ways to say “yes” and “no”…and believe me, hearing a bunch of students say, “Uh huh” and “Uh uh” is terribly amusing, especially when they’re laughing! I left classes on Tuesday with a song in my heart, all sadness banished from thence. God, You are so good…So good.

What amusement I got in class one day, when Maw Soe Thay taught me a Karen phrase on accident. From the back of the room, he mouthed something to me. I couldn’t understand him, and ended up at his desk. He said it again, and I looked confused. “Paw tha me?” He nodded, and let his head fall to the side, eyes shutting. Oh wow. He’s saying he wants to sleep. I laughed and said, “Ohh!” Then I shook my head. “You always want to sleep!” He laughed then and hid his face on the desk, half in embarrassment, half in amusement.

On another day, Tee Nee Too left the classroom, presumably to use the restroom. When he returned, we were going over something, and he stood off to the side for a moment before clambering over boys and benches to get to his seat. As he went, I heard, “Teacher!” I looked at him, and with the biggest grin and a half laugh, he took his index finger and pushed one of his eyebrows up. I guess I never thought about the fact that while kids here raise both eyebrows, and lower both eyebrows, they’ve probably never learned how to raise one at a time—something I do quite frequently. I think they all get a kick out of my expressiveness.

At the end of the day, I had prayer, and while the rest of the students sat down or dispersed from the room, Tee Nee Too and Shaw Nay Moo (recovered from his headache and quite the animated character now), remained standing. Tee Nee Too looked at me as I picked my things up, and said, “See you…next month!”

I looked startled. “Next month?”

Tee Nee Too laughed.

“Where are you going?” I asked.

He said something about next week, while Shaw Nay Moo listened.

I nodded. Next week was the big ration check, and we weren’t going to have any school.

Shaw Nay Moo asked me if I was going. I shook my head—“No, I stay here.”

Shaw Nay Moo now leaned forward. “Why?”

I’d never expected that question and for a moment I was at a loss for words. All three of us laughed, and I replied, “Because I can!”

Tee Nee Too asked, “You ‘fraid Burmese?”

“Am I afraid of the Burmese?”

“No.”

Alright, then what did you mean? “Well?”

Tee Nee Too made a shaking motion to show fear. “You ‘fraid monster… I mean! Burmese!”

Laughter. “Monster not Burmese,” I said as I retreated from the room.

It just keeps on getting more interesting. I walk by the classroom, and Tee Nee Too yells, “Good morning Teacher!” I lean up against the wall between 6th grade and 7th grade, waiting for the kids to finish their break, and Shaw Nay Moo’s head pops out of the window next to me, and he asks me if I’ve eaten already (a standard Karen greeting). I come into class 40 minutes later and am accosted by Shaw Nay Moo and Tee Nee Too, wanting to know what the picture on the front of a Fisherman’s Friend cough drop packet was (a tug boat).

I finish class, and all the kids except Tee Nee Too and Shaw Nay Moo leave or sit and Tee Nee Too points to Shaw Nay Moo and says, “He say he miss teacher.” Shaw Nay Moo looks surprised, a little embarrassed and smacks Tee Nee Too before pointing at his now-laughing friend. “No, he say!” Tee Nee Too shakes his head. “No, he say!” I throw my hands in the air. “You both!” As I leave, Tee Nee Too calls, “Teacher!” I turn and look and he points at himself, then Shaw Nay Moo, and then himself, and then Shaw Nay Moo, and then me. I looked amusedly horrified and said, “No, no; two not three!”

Days pass…Those kids greet me out of the classroom, talk to me here and there, they actually speak to me now. They’re not just a mass of kids—they’re getting names, faces; I’m recognizing them. They’re becoming a vital part of…well, of me.

Thursday afternoon, Sharon and I were doing dishes. She mentioned the group of boys who had gotten in trouble at the beginning of the year—the 12 or so that I remembered seeing, but only remembered one face from—and that only because he got in trouble again. But now Sharon is telling me that my boys: Maw Soe Thay, Tee Nee Too, Shaw Nay Moo, Saw Jaw Bu (in fifth grade): were involved in that. I remember wondering why Sharon had taken that incident so hard—I got it now. Those were my students… My “kids.”

And too, when I learned that at one point Shaw Nay Moo got put in prison, and Thara Paul had to pay a fine to get him out. I knew it was one of the boys, but didn’t know who. No, he didn’t do anything wrong—except that at a check-point he got scared and ran from the officials. It wasn’t that he got put in prison; it was that he got put in prison. My student… my “kid.”

God is doing strange things in the heart of this missionary. Things that make me sit back and go, “What? No way.” But that’s all a part of being freed, I guess.

Freed. “If the Son shall make you free, you shall be free indeed.”

Chains rattle. Prison walls tremble, cracking; and dust sifts to the cold stone floor. One fetter bursts open, then another. The trembling grows heavier, steadier; and the iron bars begin to vibrate in their sockets. I feel the tread of Almighty God shaking my prison, bursting my fetters, rattling my chains.

There’s no feeling in the world like knowing that Someone is coming to rescue you…even if it’s from yourself.

Koo Koo Paw

Flowers shot by the roadside

It's rare that you see elephants here--it merited chasing them with our car to get pictures.

The mahouts thought we were a little odd, I think, but oh well. We got pictures.

Little boys.

It looks so bright, so pretty, picturesque... How deceptive.

A contented Thurston, only so because the puppy was leaving him alone. They aren't the best of friends yet.

Tee Nee Too, my main antagonist/tease.

Harvey calls him "little rascal," I still occasionally call him "little one," he gets called "puppy" and "Camo." And he seems to respond to any one of them. He's pretty happy.

Thara Ehkganyaw.

 Random student who I don't know the name of. Quite the hat...

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